“You know that old cliché about millions of deaths being a statistic while the loss of just one life is a tragedy? If that's true, what is it when you lose something that never even had the chance to be born?
I've had lots of relationships in my time, platonic and otherwise, but the ones I think about most are those that never quite made it to term. The dashing first date who didn't call you back. The lady on the train you had that amazing conversation with but never saw again. The cool neighbor kid you met the first time a week before he moved away.I guess I'm just haunted by all that potential energy.
One moment, the universe presents you with this amazing opportunity for new possibilities...and then...” - Brian K. Vaughan, Saga
A few years ago, I had written a post about The Catcher in the Rye with one of my favorite quotes as its title - "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." Although the post went on to talk about Holden's attitude toward life, I never did get around to addressing that titular phrase. After going on a reading spree the past few days, similar thoughts to Holden's emerged in my mind. What are the risks of putting yourself out there? Becoming vulnerable to others' judgments, rejections, reactions, etc? As an introvert, that sort of exposure sounds like a nightmarish hellscape that people like me avoid at all costs.
Yet, conversely, what are the risks of walling oneself off to everyone else? I find myself pausing on that second scenario more that the first. I can do alone: a fortress of solitude - check; a self-sufficient hermit -check. And yet...and yet...I am drawn back to people by a need to learn and grow (with a little morbid curiosity thrown in there - what will these darn humans do next??) This desire to experience an expansion of my own boundaries - so at odds with my core temperament - makes me feel wholly uncomfortable and awkward most of the time - unless children or animals are present. The addition of players from either of those two camps helps the situation because the same boundaries have not been drawn. There's an openness to children; they haven't been ground down by their interactions with others to the degree adults have. Ultimately, most people are so set in their ways they're blinded to anything deviating from their anticipated norm. As an example, as someone with a lot of tattoos, I can tell you this "lack of sight" is no better illustrated than watching people's reactions to me when most of my ink is visible. My husband gets a lot of "cools" or "nice work!" - though as a woman with tattoos, unless someone IS tattooed themselves or knows women who are, I mainly get stares and side-eyes. To an extent, I am totally fine with that because it plays into the phenomenon of people leaving me the fuck alone. Yet, it can also have the effect of adding another barrier to the ability to connect, which is difficult to begin with for me.
The universe has presented us with so much, and decidedly NOT in the sense of a god/God putting it in our path. More in the sense that any of this is possible. That we're a "flash of light, in an endless night" and so is that person you met on the train. Or that coworker who's also REALLY into baking. Or whatever that connection was that you had with so and so. And so what? Are we supposed to deny those feelings of connection with others because society only allows us to have so many contacts? So many lovers? Such certain, specific configurations to our lives? Society was constructed by people for convenience; to create points of mutual understanding. Depending on the society, it might have also been created to control the masses. Can't these formations be questioned now? Can't we, as 21st century humans, create something different? Wasn't anyone paying attention to Rousseau? GAAH.
In last week's NYT magazine (yes, the obsession is real- I have no regrets), the feature article focused on whether or not humans should try to intentionally communicate with aliens. Surprisingly, people like Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking think this would be a poor choice- that we could inadvertently alert evil aliens to our existence and they'll swoop down and become our overlords. First of all, please, aliens, come and just take out as many of the powerful as you want. PLEASE. Secondly, am I to believe there are super-advanced aliens out there that can get their asses (space-asses) here quickly enough to enslave the human race, but haven't figured out how to find us in the first place? Hawking used the analogy of Cortes encountering the Aztecs. Well, yes, that was wholly awful for the inhabitants of the Americas, but Cortes and others like him were actively looking for places to conquer. If these aliens are waiting for us to send a signal, they're not actively motivated to conquer us -we've already done so for decades by using radio waves to broadcast information since the early 20th century. These are some lazy aliens.
Besides feeling superior to the most superior intellects of the current era for a few minutes, the other aspect of the search for extraterrestrial life that struck me as so mind-blowing was the same thought Enrico Fermi had about the situation - "Where is everybody?"It's likely that there are, or were, other forms of life in this vast universe (not to mention any other universes that may exist). Statistically we can't be the only planet with life. But we could potentially be the only planet supporting life right now. Other great civilizations could have risen and fallen billions of years prior to life on Earth in any form, or may be evolving to take shape sometime in the very distant future, when our own planet is past its prime and even the memory of humankind is relegated to the dustbin of time. Life is a flash in the pan not just for the individual, but for civilizations. Even stars die. So reach out and touch someone. Ha. Reach out to someone and let them know how you feel about them. Or do that thing you've put off forever, because who the fuck cares what your sister-in-law thinks about it? There are only so many opportunities for experience in our time here and we might as well use them.
Besides feeling superior to the most superior intellects of the current era for a few minutes, the other aspect of the search for extraterrestrial life that struck me as so mind-blowing was the same thought Enrico Fermi had about the situation - "Where is everybody?"It's likely that there are, or were, other forms of life in this vast universe (not to mention any other universes that may exist). Statistically we can't be the only planet with life. But we could potentially be the only planet supporting life right now. Other great civilizations could have risen and fallen billions of years prior to life on Earth in any form, or may be evolving to take shape sometime in the very distant future, when our own planet is past its prime and even the memory of humankind is relegated to the dustbin of time. Life is a flash in the pan not just for the individual, but for civilizations. Even stars die. So reach out and touch someone. Ha. Reach out to someone and let them know how you feel about them. Or do that thing you've put off forever, because who the fuck cares what your sister-in-law thinks about it? There are only so many opportunities for experience in our time here and we might as well use them.
