The Hermit Paradox

“Americans no longer talk to each other, they entertain each other. They do not exchange ideas, they exchange images. They do not argue with propositions; they argue with good looks, celebrities and commercials.”― Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business


Strange as it may seems if you've heard me talk about the comfort of anonymity and my desire to live on a mountaintop far, far away from people, I'm a conversationalist at heart. This paradoxical identity as both someone who wants to be a faceless body on the crowded streets of New York and the only face you're actually focused on while engaged in conversation is embodied within me. It's probably why my dream is to just be able to read all day long - a conversation with someone that isn't there, but that can be accessed as easily as flipping open a page. But truly, I do enjoy unadulterated conversations with the people I feel comfortable enough to reveal more personal details about myself, and most importantly, with people who are actively listening. Being able to express whatever pops into my head without self-censorship births flow and I'm willing to ride it out until the end, even if it means being vulnerable. In the barest way, my desire is to be able to think aloud and express myself without encountering judgment.

As much as I hate being at work sometimes, it helps me think so much more than being at home. Yet, there is no denying the need for a two month break after the intense intellectual stimulation of being a public school teacher for ten months every year [...that's what's wrong with every other profession in America - there's not enough meaningful time off. Everyone's annoyed at teachers for having the time we do in the summer. And to everyone I say - the answer isn't to take it away from us, it's to get it for yourselves, too]. Besides dealing with pedagogy, each day I take on the responsibility of 100's of someone else's children - teaching them subject content, yes, but also life skills and on top of that, keeping them safe. I don't take any of that lightly.

There are a lot of jobs that can be broken down like I just did to teaching -especially in ways that make them sound heroic and deserving of praise. But that's not actually what I was trying to elicit from the reader here. There's no need to praise me for choosing a job that I enjoy doing. The point is that humans themselves are amazing and capable beings, and we all express our capabilities differently. Unfortunately, as a society, we tend to oppress the shit out of each other through societal norms. Completely abstract notions of what is "good" and "valuable" replace what is good and valuable for thriving as a living being in this world. The ol' Protestant work ethic should have withered away long ago, because it's neither relevant in a society where we could begin automating so many menial tasks nor in one where if wealth was (re)distributed more evenly, it would erase the need for such an endlessly demanding stream of "productiveness"  from everyone.
Productive by whose standards? Is sitting at a desk crunching numbers more productive and valuable to society than digging trenches for water pipes? Clearly not, but we've abstracted worth and meaning to support intellectual tasks so much more so than physical ones. Teaching is one of those unusual professions that straddle a line - there's a huge intellectual component and on the other hand, this wholly practical one of being a member of a community that contributes to the raising of children. And that practical side has led teachers to be set apart from other educated professionals, as a "lesser" sort. Plus, the preponderance of women in the profession - 77% female in public schools nationwide - adds an additional layer of disregard in a patriarchy [Ooh, yes, the United States is indeed still a patriarchy - there are obvious improvements to conditions women experience on a whole, but let's not live in a world where we see those successes and hang up our picket signs for good. Women's success is still measured by how well she fits into a man's world].

As a teacher, ultimately what I want to cultivate for those present in my room is the space to explore thoughts without ridicule. If I ever do leave teaching, it's the access to so many conversations that I will miss most. Each school year, each class, each student, is an opportunity for a new relationship, and therefore, a new conversation. On top of that, as a history teacher, I want students to be in discussion with the past because not only does it make it more personal, but it could help people feel more invested in participating in the dialogue of society and politics. If they can leave my room with the understanding that there is more to explore on any front, I'd chalk it up to a win.

In Fiction We Cannot Hide Ourselves

"Bea says that the art of reading is slowly dying, that it's an intimate ritual, that a book is a mirror that offers us only what we already carry inside us, that when we read, we do it with all our heart and mind, and great readers are becoming more scarce by the day." - Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

At some point in the recent past, people stopped reading long form texts. It's been a challenge to teach in these times when "the few and far between" have the capacity to grasp the importance of reading to the formulation of thought. Sure, we read all day long - text messages, tweets, statuses, ads, article headlines, and so on- yet, when you think about how often, you, the reader here, truly reads in any real sense of the word, you realize how often the act is pushed to the wayside. More important and pressing matters or through a sense of inertia or outright laziness, reading is replaced by scrolling through a social media feed for another ten minutes before bed. I get the urge to give in to this, I really do, but I also make time to read because I find it to be a valuable source of information in the case of non-fiction (and not in the form of facts simply filling up an empty vessel, but more like fodder for the intellect). As a student of history, one reads not only to understand the past, but to project into the future. A gestalt reading of historical texts considers events in the context of human development, not just as a list of dates, events and people for memorization.

And fiction? Well, fiction helps us to enter the mind of someone beyond ourselves. This glimpse into the workings of the thought processes of those outside of our own minds can not only provide us with the space to reflect on our own, but can prepare us for future encounters with different people and situations. The simple act of reading has been proven to bolster feelings of empathy for others, even those outside of our own immediate identity groups. Fiction, in particular, has this effect. Unsurprisingly, the more you understand how others approach situations and internally mediate their experiences makes you less likely to judge those around you. Wow - who would have guessed?

Yet, beyond reading, most activities people engage in do the exact opposite and instead foster a sense of narcissism.We cultivate an online persona for others to ingest; posting pictures or stories that portray only particular aspects of ourselves. Added onto such personal practices, the marketing ploy of micro-targeting (we see advertisements and news stories that further validate any confirmation biases we may have about the world around us AND the types of people in it) and you have a recipe for a very tight bubble beginning to form around each person. 

So what are the effects of these inward-looking trends? They tend to feed a fear of an "other." Of course, the sense of the "other" is nothing new. But in an era of globalization, why is there not a dampening of such fears? In light of the most recent American presidential election, it is evident that there are serious issues plaguing this nation both politically and socially. We could write off any focus on the individual and identity-based politics as the common reaction to a wide-scale movement like globalization (eg: localization movements). Yet, I would contend this balkanization represents a different phenomenon altogether and is directly tied into the narcissistic behaviors encouraged by social media and consumer capitalism. It's amazing that now we can make ourselves unique and different for only three easy installments of $29.95! And though I kid, this sort of focus on consumerism has sounded a death knell for true democratic involvement. Consumer choice has become a stand-in for political freedoms. People engage by buying a shirt emblazoned with a logo of Standing Rock (as worn by a famous person they love!) rather than engaging in a more meaningful, and lasting, form of engagement. This, along with using personal online spaces to like, share and post information important to causes one cares about, has allowed people to feel as though their voices are being heard and that they are using their time to "do" something. It is no wonder so many Americans feel as though to country is on the wrong path - for try as they might, there do not seem to be any improvements underway. This must be a baffling paradox- the more "engaged" people feel they have become through their tiny virtual soapboxes, the more their voices get lost in the echo chamber.

Alongside the evolution of hashtag activism, very slowly, perhaps, those who don't share our statuses or articles or who aren't using the proper nomenclature become members of an out-group that we don't want to associate with. The "othering" of our neighbors, family members and political rivals has ended up quite literally making people feel like there was nothing left to live for on Nov 9, 2016. This feeling was wholly unprecedented - sure, people were upset after Obama won in 2008 or after Gore lost, but the massive bubbles of biased perception created by social media usage and endless cable media coverage truly made these most recent results unique in their reception.

So what do we do? How can we move beyond identity politics or is there a way to embrace the focus on individual groups and their struggles as well as coalesce into a larger identity when necessary? I have read many articles both about why identity politics need to end and about what will be lost of there are more coalitions and less factions.Will civil rights be thrown to the back burner for groups who feel underrepresented? Will there be less of a chance for egalitarianism? Yet, if each identity group is to continue fighting for equal footing, only those with the sheer numbers will win out (as the ascendancy of Trump in 2016 under a banner of white identity politics proved, to the shock of all). This will continue to happen unless political messaging undergoes a radical change. 

A plausible answer is to embrace the subjectivity of both the human experience and of values as well. No one set of American values can be correct, for even within a particular identity group, there can and will be diversity. Returning to an old stand-by topic for me - control - we see that each group within the identity politics game seeks to control the current discourse. This control is, as all, suppositious. Only with an embrace of nihilistic existentialism will a society be able to move past desires to categorize, control or even destroy differences. The realization that everything and everyone is difference in itself, and thus, the same can only be achieved through the dissolution of labels. Through such an awakening, the only answer could be to embrace the absurdity of life before moving forward, only now with a profoundly different view of all of those around us. To return to the beginning comments on fiction's importance in our lives, the continued practice of reading would provide us with the ability to discern what is fiction and what is not. Our personal narratives, however true they may be, when distilled through the filter of social media or even language, become fictionalized to an extent. The recognition of this subjectivity would break down barriers between us all because there would be realization that others' experiences are as valid as your own. 

So I leave you with a song, because, like reading, good music can also sow the seeds of empathy. It is through the reading of fiction (and I would contend, reading in general), that we can challenge our minds to grow more open:

Through fiction we saw the birth
Of futures yet to come
Yet in fiction lay the bones
Ugly in their nakedness

Yet under this mortal sun
We cannot hide ourselves