In Fiction We Cannot Hide Ourselves

"Bea says that the art of reading is slowly dying, that it's an intimate ritual, that a book is a mirror that offers us only what we already carry inside us, that when we read, we do it with all our heart and mind, and great readers are becoming more scarce by the day." - Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

At some point in the recent past, people stopped reading long form texts. It's been a challenge to teach in these times when "the few and far between" have the capacity to grasp the importance of reading to the formulation of thought. Sure, we read all day long - text messages, tweets, statuses, ads, article headlines, and so on- yet, when you think about how often, you, the reader here, truly reads in any real sense of the word, you realize how often the act is pushed to the wayside. More important and pressing matters or through a sense of inertia or outright laziness, reading is replaced by scrolling through a social media feed for another ten minutes before bed. I get the urge to give in to this, I really do, but I also make time to read because I find it to be a valuable source of information in the case of non-fiction (and not in the form of facts simply filling up an empty vessel, but more like fodder for the intellect). As a student of history, one reads not only to understand the past, but to project into the future. A gestalt reading of historical texts considers events in the context of human development, not just as a list of dates, events and people for memorization.

And fiction? Well, fiction helps us to enter the mind of someone beyond ourselves. This glimpse into the workings of the thought processes of those outside of our own minds can not only provide us with the space to reflect on our own, but can prepare us for future encounters with different people and situations. The simple act of reading has been proven to bolster feelings of empathy for others, even those outside of our own immediate identity groups. Fiction, in particular, has this effect. Unsurprisingly, the more you understand how others approach situations and internally mediate their experiences makes you less likely to judge those around you. Wow - who would have guessed?

Yet, beyond reading, most activities people engage in do the exact opposite and instead foster a sense of narcissism.We cultivate an online persona for others to ingest; posting pictures or stories that portray only particular aspects of ourselves. Added onto such personal practices, the marketing ploy of micro-targeting (we see advertisements and news stories that further validate any confirmation biases we may have about the world around us AND the types of people in it) and you have a recipe for a very tight bubble beginning to form around each person. 

So what are the effects of these inward-looking trends? They tend to feed a fear of an "other." Of course, the sense of the "other" is nothing new. But in an era of globalization, why is there not a dampening of such fears? In light of the most recent American presidential election, it is evident that there are serious issues plaguing this nation both politically and socially. We could write off any focus on the individual and identity-based politics as the common reaction to a wide-scale movement like globalization (eg: localization movements). Yet, I would contend this balkanization represents a different phenomenon altogether and is directly tied into the narcissistic behaviors encouraged by social media and consumer capitalism. It's amazing that now we can make ourselves unique and different for only three easy installments of $29.95! And though I kid, this sort of focus on consumerism has sounded a death knell for true democratic involvement. Consumer choice has become a stand-in for political freedoms. People engage by buying a shirt emblazoned with a logo of Standing Rock (as worn by a famous person they love!) rather than engaging in a more meaningful, and lasting, form of engagement. This, along with using personal online spaces to like, share and post information important to causes one cares about, has allowed people to feel as though their voices are being heard and that they are using their time to "do" something. It is no wonder so many Americans feel as though to country is on the wrong path - for try as they might, there do not seem to be any improvements underway. This must be a baffling paradox- the more "engaged" people feel they have become through their tiny virtual soapboxes, the more their voices get lost in the echo chamber.

Alongside the evolution of hashtag activism, very slowly, perhaps, those who don't share our statuses or articles or who aren't using the proper nomenclature become members of an out-group that we don't want to associate with. The "othering" of our neighbors, family members and political rivals has ended up quite literally making people feel like there was nothing left to live for on Nov 9, 2016. This feeling was wholly unprecedented - sure, people were upset after Obama won in 2008 or after Gore lost, but the massive bubbles of biased perception created by social media usage and endless cable media coverage truly made these most recent results unique in their reception.

So what do we do? How can we move beyond identity politics or is there a way to embrace the focus on individual groups and their struggles as well as coalesce into a larger identity when necessary? I have read many articles both about why identity politics need to end and about what will be lost of there are more coalitions and less factions.Will civil rights be thrown to the back burner for groups who feel underrepresented? Will there be less of a chance for egalitarianism? Yet, if each identity group is to continue fighting for equal footing, only those with the sheer numbers will win out (as the ascendancy of Trump in 2016 under a banner of white identity politics proved, to the shock of all). This will continue to happen unless political messaging undergoes a radical change. 

A plausible answer is to embrace the subjectivity of both the human experience and of values as well. No one set of American values can be correct, for even within a particular identity group, there can and will be diversity. Returning to an old stand-by topic for me - control - we see that each group within the identity politics game seeks to control the current discourse. This control is, as all, suppositious. Only with an embrace of nihilistic existentialism will a society be able to move past desires to categorize, control or even destroy differences. The realization that everything and everyone is difference in itself, and thus, the same can only be achieved through the dissolution of labels. Through such an awakening, the only answer could be to embrace the absurdity of life before moving forward, only now with a profoundly different view of all of those around us. To return to the beginning comments on fiction's importance in our lives, the continued practice of reading would provide us with the ability to discern what is fiction and what is not. Our personal narratives, however true they may be, when distilled through the filter of social media or even language, become fictionalized to an extent. The recognition of this subjectivity would break down barriers between us all because there would be realization that others' experiences are as valid as your own. 

So I leave you with a song, because, like reading, good music can also sow the seeds of empathy. It is through the reading of fiction (and I would contend, reading in general), that we can challenge our minds to grow more open:

Through fiction we saw the birth
Of futures yet to come
Yet in fiction lay the bones
Ugly in their nakedness

Yet under this mortal sun
We cannot hide ourselves

Do You Have To Use So Many Cuss Words?

I don't like too many movies. I have blogged about a few on here, true, but in general, I prefer television to film. The format of tv shows is more akin to chapter books, allowing for development of character and plot in a much more elaborate way than most movies are able to capture in their short amount of time.

That being said, my favorite movie of all time is actually about nothing - The Big Lebowski (I alluded to characters in The Big Lebowski in a previous post, but I would like to expound on the philosophy of that movie in more detail). Why do I say it's about nothing? Well, there are nihilists and they "belieef in nussing," but the movie on a whole is also about nothing in particular. When someone says, "what is it about?" and I try to describe it, the plot sounds terribly blase, or if I go into detail, incoherent. It's about a kidnapping? And bowling? And a rug? And a guy who drinks White Russians? And feminist art?  And pornography? AND nihilists? Well, yes, it is about all of those things, but in no particular way. In fact, as the viewer, you are dropped into the world of "The Dude," aka Jeffery Lebowski, a washed up former hippie who does not seem to work, but likes to smoke pot, drink and go bowling. But you really don't know too much about him beyond what you see - his back story is hazy, his friends are an odd collection of misfits and he seems to try to do the right thing, but mainly he wants to be left to do what he wants. With this guy, The Dude, as our guide throughout the movie, it's hard for it to be about much of import when you first watch it. If watched once, the viewer would likely think, "That was ridiculous! I laughed, it was funny....blah blah." But, it's a grower of a film. With there being no real purpose for much of anything that happens in the plot, and in fact, even when the main characters plan for a particular outcome, it's botched somehow; the deeper meaning is that it mirrors the course of our lives.

Three characters, in particular, are avatars for aspects of our own being, which I will relate to Freudian terms of id, ego and superego because I think most of us have a general understanding of what is meant by each of those. The Dude is our baseline desire or "id", The Stranger is our "ego," and Walter is our "superego." Our lives are strung together by us, represented by the Stranger (Sam Elliot). He introduces us to The Dude and the story, and sums it up at the end. We do that for ourselves all of the time, furthering the narrative of what is "us" versus someone else. The ego is what we present to the world, and thusly, the Stranger presents to the viewer a coherent storyline and sensibility to the entire plot.

The Dude, as aforementioned, represents our desires. He's a lazy hedonist - not willing to really work for some pie-in-the-sky dream of jet-setting worldwide or owning a lot of expensive material items - but most definitely desirous of being able to continue to partake in that which he enjoys on a most basic level without any effort. His chill vibe is unyielding and in the midst of any sort of obstacle to him being able to just "be" actually ends up with him being annoyed and frustrated to the point of being at a loss for words. It is only when he is met with the harsh reality of knowing that his status quo chill will never be reobtained UNLESS he deals with the problem at hand that he actually begins to figure out how to solve the problem.

The third avatar of all of our personalities that appears is Walter, the Superego. He's an energetic absolutist who touts the rules that he holds near and dear to him. He is always reminding everyone of the "right" way to be. When you think about that nagging inner voice that tells you to make sure you exercise or go to church or not steal someone's lunch from the refrigerator at work, that's the "fault" of the superego. It represents the internalized values that form the principles by which we all stand by. In fact, in this movie, Walter actually calls out the nihilists as being bullshit because they do not have an ethos and are not to be feared because their own lack or suppression of a superego will lead them to inaction or even destruction in the end.

I have written much about our general desire for control over our lives when in fact we have very little. The illusion of control is strong and stability helps to cultivate that further, but in reality, everything we hold dear could end tomorrow (bus accident, asteroid, some other "act of god" scenario). So why not side with the nihilists? I come back to this point quite often. Maybe Walter was wrong and their belief in nothing mattering is the best course of action because it would potentially free the actor up to do whatever with no consequence. Yet, just like the nihilists in the movie, it's an unobtainable standard. They DO believe in something, in fact. And when faced with not getting what they wanted, they belie their supposed core tendency to not believe in anything by whining. So maybe to rephrase, the movie about nothing is really about something, just not anything tangible or even easily graspable upon first watch. There are many other aspects of the film that I have not mentioned (like, the dream sequences in the movie are only the Dude's, which is fitting if he represents the id or deeply unconscious mind)

It is only through the union or balance of our psychological components that we are able to actually achieve success. In my plea from December, I did ask for a Stranger to come into my life, as I was pulled between the baseness of pursuing only my own needs and what I knew to be "right." I did not know how to reconcile these two ends of the spectrum. I still don't entirely have the answer, but I do think I need to watch the movie again for some clues as to how to obtain it.

Personal identifiers and control. ..

The question of why I do not like labels has been something that I have not been able to entirely resolve for a while now. When I say I am an atheist or feminist, but that I don't want to have that label attached to my being, I get weird reactions. People WANT me to pick a side, a label, an identifier. And I resist. But why? Last night, it struck me, finally, as to why. An identifier is another form of control.

A few other elements and experiences have gone into this revelation. My partner waxed poetically about knowing me for so long (22 years....) and how he never imagined being with me. The idea of "me" as a continuity, as something that could be pinned down to represent my very essence, well, that just upset "me." Because even though I have, mentally, experienced "myself" this entire time, I don't even know exactly if there IS continuity of any sort internally. There's a narrative that I can create. Or that others can, to achieve some sort of "Huntress-ness" but is that really real?

Does this mean that my "authentic" self isn't...authentic? Well, no. Because even with authenticity, I don't believe that there is a one-true-self that anyone can achieve. Authenticity refers to the experience of being human, not the experience of being human AS Huntress S. Jackson, esq. Ha! Just kiddin...but seriously, what is more true than existence precedes essence when it really comes down to bare bones? We exist. Just like animals. Just like a tree. No better, no different in the grand scheme of things. Just as mortal and expendable.  Which is what drives so many humans to madness. We'd rather do anything than admit to ourselves that we're "just talking meat" -quelle horreur! We're posting pictures of our sandwiches online to foster a connection to someone, anyone who might be listening. What the....?

At the end of Joseph Conrad's "The Heart of Darkness," the narrator Marlow lies to Kurtz's fiancée,  telling her his last words were about her. In truth,  his last words were ambiguous...perhaps lamenting what he'd become, perhaps about what he'd miss out on, or maybe more broadly, about the disturbing depths all of us are capable of reaching. Kurtz's labels as a successful captain, a well educated and civilized man were temporary,  as temporary as we all are. Kurtz's authenticity was real in either chaper of his life - only his circumstances had changed so much that he appeared to be a completely different person to those who had not been with him as he made his transformation.

Is it dangerous to label one's self?  Not necessarily.  Is it naive? Potentially. As circumstances in your life progress, holding on to labels can keep you from being open to change. The easiest way to think about the trouble with labels is by using an example of a nrgative one. Think about negative self talk you might engage in on a daily basis - your nose is too big, you're overweight,  your freckles are ugly...blah, blah. These labels might prevent you from being confident in your abilities.  Or you might avoid talking to someone that you might really like. Using your labels to control your experience of the world is an easy trap to fall into, but in the end, it's not worth the effort it takes to constantly compartmentalize everything around you, including yourself because you're also cutting off possible new worlds.